k-lionheart:

xcgirl08:

fairytalemood:

"The Lindworm" by Naomi Butterfield

AMAZING OBSCURE FAIRY TALE, MUCH? OKAY OKAY OKAY, HERE:

A King and Queen ruled in a time of peace and abundance; the only mar upon their happiness was that they had no children, through their youth and even into their middle age, despite many fervent hopes and prayers. One day the Queen went walking on a forest path without her attendants. There, in the dark quiet of her despair, an old woman found her. 

"My dear," asked the woman, "why are you so sad?"

"It doesn’t matter," answered the Queen, gently. "It wouldn’t make a difference if you knew."

"You may be surprised." 

"The King and I have no children. He lacks an heir, and I have always wanted a child of my own to care for. But you see, that’s not something you can help."

"Of course it is," nodded the woman, for naturally she was a witch. "Listen and do as I say; take a drinking cup and place it upside-down in your garden tonight. In the morning, you will find two roses beneath it - one red, one white. If you eat the red rose you shall give birth to a son, and the white rose shall give you a girl. But remember that you must not eat both."

"Not both?"

"No," the woman said. 

Astonished, and not a little suspicious, the Queen agreed. That night she did as the old woman had instructed, and in the morning she discovered two small roses under the cup’s brim. 

"But which one should I choose?" thought the Queen. "If I have a son, he may grow into a man who marches off to war and dies. If I have a daughter, she may stay longer with me, but I will have to see her given away in marriage. In the end, I may have no child after all."

At last she decided on the white rose, but it was so sweet to the taste - and the thought of losing a daughter to marriage was so bitter - that she ate the red rose as well, hardly remembering the old woman’s warning.

Shortly afterwards, as happens in such stories, the Queen was found to be with child. Her husband was traveling when the time came for her to give birth, and so he did not bear witness to what happened, which was this:

The Queen’s first child was no child at all, but instead there tumbled forth from her body the long, scaly one of a lindworm, a hideous dragon with a venomous bite. It scrabbled out the window on its two legs, even before the terrified midwives could move to do anything, and amidst the chaos the Queen delivered a second child as well. This one was a fine, handsome boy, healthy and perfectly formed, and the Queen made her midwives swear that they would tell no one what they had seen. And when the King arrived home, joyous at the news of his son’s birth, not a word was said. 

Years passed, so that the Queen wondered if it had not been a terrible dream. Soon enough it came time for the prince to find a wife, and he set out with his guard to a neighboring kingdom to ask for its princess’s hand in marriage. But suddenly a great lindworm appeared, and laid itself before the prince’s horse, and from its jagged-tooth mouth came a voice:

"A bride for me before a bride for you!"

The prince and his company turned about to flee. The Lindworm blocked their passage and spoke again.

"A bride for me before a bride for you!"

The prince journeyed home to tell his parents. Distraught, the Queen confessed that it was true. The Lindworm was indeed the elder brother of the prince, and so by rights should marry first. The King wrote to the ruler of a distant land, asking that they send their princess to marry his son: but he did not say which one.

A lovely princess journeyed to the kingdom, and did not see her bridegroom until he appeared beside her in the Great Hall, and by then (naturally) it was too late. The next morning they found the Lindworm asleep alone in the bridal bedchamber, and it was quite clear he had devoured his new wife. 

A second princess was sent, and a third. Both met the same fate, but each time the prince dared to embark on a journey, the Lindworm would appear again and speak: 

"A bride for me before a bride for you!"

"Father," the prince said, " we must find a wife for my elder brother."

"And where am I to find her?" asked the King. "We have already made enemies of the men who sent their daughters to us. Stories are spreading fast, and I am sure no princess would dare to come now."

So instead the King went to the royal gardener’s cottage, where he knew the old man lived with his only daughter. 

"Will you give me your daughter to marry my son, the Lindworm?" asked the King.

"No!" cried the gardener. "Please, she is everything I have in this world. Your monstrous son has eaten his way through three princesses, and he’ll gobble her up just the same. She’s too good for such a fate.”

"You must," the King said, "You must."

Distraught, the gardener told his daughter everything. She agreed to the King’s request and went into the forest so that her father would not see her weeping.

And there, in the dark quiet of her despair, an old woman found her. 

"My dear," asked the woman, "why are you so sad?"

"I’m sorry," answered the girl, kindly. "It wouldn’t make a difference if I told you."

"You may be surprised." 

"How can that be? I’m to be married to the King’s son, the Lindworm. He’s eaten his first three brides, and I don’t know what will stop me from meeting the same end. That’s not something  you can help me with."

"Of course it is," nodded the woman again. "Listen and do as I say. Before the marriage ceremony, dress yourself in ten snow-white shifts beneath your gown. Ask that a tub of lye, a tub of milk, and as many birch rods as a man can carry be brought to your bridal chamber. After you are wed, and your husband orders you to disrobe, bid him to shed a skin first. He will ask you this nine times, and when you are left wearing one shift you must whip him with the rods, wash him in the lye, bath him in the milk, wrap him in the discarded shifts, and hold him in your arms."

"Do I truly have to hold him?" the girl asked, in disgust.

"You must. It may mean your life."

The girl was suspicious, but she agreed to the woman’s plan however absurd it seemed. When the day came for the marriage, she dressed herself in ten white shifts before donning the heavy gown they offered her. When she looked upon her husband for the first time, waiting for her in the Great Hall, her steps did not falter. And when she asked for the rods, the lye, and the milk, she said it with such ease that the servant could do nothing but obey.

Finally, the girl and the Lindworm were left alone in the darkened bedchamber. For a moment she listened to the rasp and click of his scales on stone, and heard his soughing breath. 

"Maiden," said the Lindworm, "shed your shift for me."

"Prince Lindworm," answered the girl, "shed your skin first!"

"No one has ever asked me that before," the answer came.

"I am asking it of you now." 

So the Lindworm shed a skin, and the girl shed a shift, but she revealed the second shift underneath. 

"Maiden," said the Lindworm, a second time, "shed your shift for me."

"Prince Lindworm," answered the girl, again, "shed your skin first!"

They repeated this, nine times in all, and each time the Lindworm shed a skin the girl removed another white shift, until she was left wearing one.

The Lindworm, shivering and weak and bloodied, spoke his request a last time.

"Wife," asked the Lindworm, "will you shed your shift for me?"

"Husband,"answered the girl, "will you shed your skin first?"

And the Lindworm did as she asked of him, tearing himself free of scales and armor even to the bare flesh beneath, and the girl whipped the writhing creature with her birch rods until they snapped; she carried the whole massive length of him to the tubs, lye and milk, washed him clean and bathed him and swathed him in the shifts like a great, terrible child, collapsed to the floor with her husband in her arms, and there she stayed until, exhausted, she fell asleep.

When she woke, it was to the timid knocking of a servant on the door. 

"Princess?" asked the servant. "Princess? Are you alive?"

The girl looked about the bedchamber: there in the morning light were the dried skins, and the tubs, and the broken rods, and the blood, and in her arms slept a pale, weary, but very handsome man. 

"Yes," she answered. "Yes, I am."

The King and Queen were astounded and thrilled to hear how the girl had saved their son from his curse, and she ruled together with her husband for many long years, and thus closes our tale of the most intense game of strip poker that you shall ever hear.

This whole tale is amazing. I lost it at the last part oh man.

REBLOG | Posted 1 day ago With 95,757 notes

treadtheworld:

flippy-feelings:

Did you ever realize how much your body loves you? It’s always trying to keep you alive. It’s making sure you breathe while you sleep, stopping cuts from bleeding, fixing broken bones, finding ways to beat the illnesses that might get you. Your body literally loves you so much. It’s time you start loving it back.

Fuck. I needed this.

literallyrad:

there are approximately 1,013,913 words in the english language but i could never string any of them together to explain how much i want to hit you with a chair.

foreversearchingforanswers:

toxicteardrops:

l-ovelynialler:

from left to right;

I am afraid to hold my boyfriend’s hand.

My friend’s parents sent her away.

I found death threats in my locker.

I submitted to electroshock therapy.

I lost half my friends after coming out.

My grandmother sends me hate mail.

My school won’t let me take my date to prom.

I am not here anymore.

My dad tried to beat it out of me.

No one is proud of me.

This showed up on my blog again. Forever reblog.

The “I am not here anymore.” 

Oh my. This hit hard.

i don’t even care that this isn’t black and white.
read this

dinizee:

so i thought it would be good if i put them all together in height order  :>

i will continue to make more, including supporting characters like mizuki, trip n virus, etc etc.

REBLOG | Posted 1 day ago With 1,420 notes

supercargautier:

cats are squishy cartoon friends that live in your house with you and do rad stunts. if they like you they vibrate at you very loudly. this is somehow a real animal

REBLOG | Posted 1 day ago With 28,485 notes

teawithaview:

embraceyourpastyirishboy:

brolininthetardis:

#colin morgan

image

My favorite post ever and whoever thought of it is a genius

snorlaxatives:

why the fuck does everyone in the purge movies want to kill people if crime was legal i’d find a way to erase my student debt and also probably steal a bunch of new clothes

paperseverywhere:

Commission for whiiimsicott! Aay cuties—

REBLOG | Posted 3 days ago With 4,095 notes

cyphercat:

tatterdemalionamberite:

maysgreatnewusername:

Wow. I think helmsman!Gamzee is basically the “YOU CROSSED THE STREEEEAAAAMMMS” of body horror in this fandom. :D

:D

I think

I think it is.

hmm, so. IDEAS!

obviously you *could* do a bloodswap or powerswap; but then there’s also the chucklevoodoos thing you mentioned (Makaras being made into living weapons…) Which… both works and doesn’t, in a weird way, in that chucklevoodoos are a mind control power primarily. So if you were going to psychically enslave someone with that trait, you’d want…

…someone with a stronger version of the same trait, I imagine, to do it? Bring on the dark Makaracest.

You could alternately go with: horrorterror powers » chucklevoodoos (enabling a Peixes to be in charge, or maybe a very AU Rose); or the technology confers an immunity for the person or people running it -

Maybe close connections with death confer an immunity to chucklevoodoos - you can’t fear death when you’re beyond it, right? - and a Megido is holding his chains. whoops I like that too much especially with the Handmaid 

(… just throwing random ideas at the wall here, anyone who wants feel free to join in.)

…ok but what if he’s not the helm: he’s the guns. why power only one part of your ship with terrifying body horror, amirite? wire up some indigos to amplification tech like you use for your psionics, suddenly you’re wielding weapons of mass psych destruction. (which is really handy, because then you can seize the enemy resources and eat the bodies!)

tatterdemalionamberite:

roachpatrol:

ok so i read this thread and got the weirdest boner

#gunnery officer makara
#HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD WORD?
#CUZ YOU’RE GUNNA

I dunno about the rest of y’all but I’m gonna frame this above my door with the caption ‘proud contributor to roach’s whyboners since 2012’

REBLOG | Posted 3 days ago With 241 notes

pdlcomics:

Ghost Friend

Poorly Drawn Lines by Reza Farazmand
[website | tumblr | twitter | facebook]

starkiller-:

laughyourheadoff:

#remember that one time icarly decided to break all the rules and throw a random confused Drake in the middle of one of their scenes? #because i sure do

Omfg.

zootedboy:

if we skyping best believe im looking at myself in that lil window not u